Don’t Read


Don’t ever start reading. If you’re reading now I encourage you to stop. Those who read tend to get better at it and want to do more of it. It’s an addicting behavior and it will start to control all aspects of your life. There is no such thing as a functioning readaholic. It exercises the brain in much the same way that going to the gym exercises the muscles of your body. If there’s one thing I hear everyone complaining about, it’s exercise. So stop reading now. Reading also improves concentration. The last thing we want is for our children to learn to sit for long periods of time without making a lot of noise. If we wanted them to do that we would just stuff them full of Ritalin and shove them in facilities where we make them do this for six to eight hours a day, so that they can learn. Besides I would hate to see the drug companies go out of business. Put that book down. You will only end up learning about the world around you. You’ll be exposed to new ideas, ways of life, or worse something that might be outside your own experience. You simply cannot allow that to happen. Reading will improve your vocabulary and your ability to write. You will begin to naturally recognize and produce good sentence structure and use words more efficiently and appropriately. This can only lead to things like accuracy and becoming more productive in your everyday life. Reading more sparks imaginations and leads to comparisons of one’s life to the stories whichΒ you’veΒ read. Imagine the horror this will bring about when people start to talk to each other and are suddenly able to relate about differences in their lives. This might lead to disastrous occurrences of empathy and compassion for those around you. You might even be compelled to help people for whom you know little about. This is where ideas like Social Security, and welfare come from, so for God’s sake PUT DOWN THAT BOOK! It’s no surprise that children who read more often do better in school. If they do better in school they often get branded as nerds, geeks, know-it-alls, teachers pet and other such atrocities. This makes them more susceptible Β to bullying and not being part of the cool kids group. The last thing you want is an overachiever for a child. That’s just begging for them to be tortured by their peers. They might even get into a good university and that’s only going to cost you more money. That’s less money you could be spending on things for yourself. Reading more can only mean bad things for the economy. Reading more means you’ll learn to entertain yourself easier. Movie theaters need your business and television networks need to sell your ratings to advertisers. Don’t make them suffer, they are the job creators after all. You might even find yourself relaxed and less stressed. You might even be able to sleep better at night. When you read to children you build a relationship with them. They grow closer to you and build memories that involve you. If you ever want them to move out you need to stop reading to them. We should ban books and other reading devices. They only encourage learning and self-improvement. The only 100% effective way to prevent our children from doing better than you is to stop reading all together. If by chance they do read and do happen to graduate college and rack up thousands in debt to go to college they should be on their own. In no way should society help them at all. It should be seen as a privilege to go to college and obtain higher degrees. A privilege reserved only for those who can afford it. Also, if you were forcibly read to and made to go to college, don’t worry. If you really resist all learning society will find a proper place for you and your knowledge will not be held against you.

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mcmeme

 

 

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29 comments

  1. […] has seen fit to glitter my blog up. As part of her weekly Glittered by Ericka contest I submitted this post, and much to my surprise, it won. There was some really good stuff submitted too. Stuff like this, […]

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  2. *standing ovation*

    My abnormally quiet children are currently in the middle of their SSR hour, reading H.G. Wells, “Wizard: The life and times of Nicola Tesla” and an American Girl something-something (respectively). This daily practice is probably the best thing about being parenthood for me, because what follows are lengthy discussions with fresh minds that don’t yet know about a world with limitations.

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    1. *takes a bow*

      You are too kind. πŸ™‚ I might just have to get the Nicola Tesla book. It really is lovely when they sit and read, it gives me much needed reflection time. Quite honestly I hope my pawns grow to be the readers that I am if not more. There’s so much that they can do and do better if they wield that passion. I think it also helps keep their imaginations strong throughout their lives, and this world could use a few more adults with imaginations.

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  3. This is brilliant!

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    1. Thank you very much.

      Like

  4. Love this article and your blog. You have really got some extremely interesting articles here!
    Keep up the good work. πŸ™‚

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    1. Thank you so much. I’m glad you like my work. I always appreciate the positive feedback.

      Like

  5. Hey, I gave up reading years ago, and let me tell you, ignorance really is bliss!
    I’m so much happier not having to make decisions on things that affect me, or even to be able to gather information on those things.
    In fact, i can tell you that if I was sad enough to know how to read, this post would have aroused righteous indignation in me.
    And really, who needs that?

    (Wandered over from Words and Other Things.)
    (Where I skip the Words.) πŸ˜‰

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    1. Skipping words is really the only way to get through life. Less reading, more doing I say. Doing things helps you forget about all the reading you could be doing and what could be better than that?

      I’m glad you stopped by and thank you so much for commenting.

      Like

  6. You could even discover the truth about things and you could feel the desire to do something about corruption and mistreatments… Run away!

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    1. Turn back now, before it’s too late. Only knowledge and wisdom lie ahead. There is no fate worse than that. πŸ™‚

      Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. I truly appreciate it.

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      1. Thank Nicole Marie, she brought me here ;).

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      2. Ahhh yes, Nicole did graciously share me with her world. I think she knows that it is much appreciated. Well, thank you again.

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  7. Reblogged this on and commented:
    Seriously, read this.

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  8. LOVE this! I’m sharing, too.

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    1. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Thank you for spreading the words. It always lights up my day when someone does this. Erika Clay, of course led me to your page, and now I’m totally looking forward to the rest of your short story, Unremembered.

      Hooray for new connections!

      Was that too cheerleaderish, I’ll stop now. πŸ™‚

      Like

      1. Not at all! I love finding new friends through other connections. You are very welcome! It always gets me excited when I see my post has been shared. I love that others care enough to share something of mine.

        And thank you for reading – look out for part two! Very nice to meet you. πŸ™‚

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    2. I’ll definitely look out for part two. I do love a good read, so much for following my own advice. πŸ™‚

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  9. The first five sentences of this explains my mood lately. I haven’t been able to curl up with a book in more than a month because of work. The result is a cranky, sleep-deprived version of my usually even-tempered self.
    Thanks for the read πŸ™‚

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    1. You’re very welcome. Thank you for stopping by and reading and commenting. I hope you get to have your much needed book time soon. Withdrawl is the worst πŸ™‚

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  10. Goodness, that was an exhausting read… I read it really fast, just for the sense of mounting madness. Isn’t it a bit ironic that you are ironically telling us not to read while so instructing us by having us read? My mind just went into some kind of timewarp.

    Great post, my friend.

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    1. Irony, sarcasm, cynacism, these are the tools of the trade are they not? I’m simply rife with them. Thank you for the kind words friend.

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  11. I’m still giggling.
    Well done and very well thought-out.
    I’m sharing this as well.

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    1. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. It was one of those 4 am writing whims. πŸ™‚

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  12. Loved this post. Shared it all over.

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    1. That is so awesome of you. I can never get enough shares. I’m glad you liked it.

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      1. Happy to! People are digging it as well. πŸ™‚ Great post!

        Like

      2. Yeah πŸ™‚

        Like

  13. Reblogged this on Dropped Pebbles and commented:
    I loved this! Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

    Like

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